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The Love Bug

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Concerns... [Jun. 5th, 2002|01:15 pm]
The Love Bug
This post is about someone whom I refuse to name, as it will serve no positive purpose.

He's a young lad, with a lot of life to look forward to, however I'm concerned that he may not get that far.

He's a friend of the family, but his actions and behaviour over the last few months has really changed him. His involvement with drugs - although allegedly only theoretical - has seriously affected his attitude towards other people, including his parents... which leads me to believe that it is not just a theoretical involvement.

He has very little respect for money, which will probably be the trigger to his demise, as he goes out most nights to clubs and such, but appears to be living off an overdraft... well, for as long as the bank allow him to.

Well over a year ago, he made a very important announcement to the world, which gained his a great deal of respect, not least from me and Caroline. However, he appears to have let everything go to his head, and now seems to carry a contempt towards other people who don't think and act the same way that he does.

My main concern is that the combination of attitude, drugs and lack of money could soon rise to more drastic measures to maintain his current way of "life".

Caroline has known this young man since childhood, and they have been very good friends... however, their friendship has been strained recently due to various events, and I know that it upsets her.

I'll close by saying this: I let myself go about 10 years ago... lost my job, lost my flat, lost my girlfriend (of the time, and nearly lost my family. It was only the love and support of my parents and stepparents that got me back on my feet. But I had to work at it as well, my attitude had to change, and I had to get out and do something about it. I'm now married & happy (but in a crap job... hey you can't have everything! LOL)... but I had to work for it. Is there a point to this? Yes: If you push away those people that care about you, your friends and family, you will have no-one to pick you up when you fall. With the people close to you, you don't have to fall.

(I've left this post public, in the hope that the person that I'm referring to sees it, and realises that the people he thinks are against him, are actually here waiting to help... he only has to ask. However, I would ask that if anyone else reading this realises who I'm referring to, they keep his identity to themselves... as I said, it would serve no positive purpose.)
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: crazybee
2002-06-05 05:35 am (UTC)
who ever it is I hope he askes soon for his sake as well as his family's
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[User Picture]From: stephaniewalker
2002-06-05 05:49 am (UTC)
I hope he gets it sorted soon.

There's only a certain amount of time that he can spend doing this.
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[User Picture]From: oblivious
2002-06-05 06:12 am (UTC)
I don't know if it's who I think it is but they will burn out, in fact they both will and while I am primarily concerned with his partner in crime I don't wish to see either of them hit the bottom.

Very few people come back from there so if you do read this then please stop now before it gets to a point where you can't come back, there are people who care about you and will do whatever they can to help.
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[User Picture]From: moosical
2002-06-05 08:48 am (UTC)
I don't think you are thinking of the right person but I believe I know who you are thinking about above ;(

and in many ways I'm hoping my friend doesnt follow the path of the 2 you mentioned ;(

Moo
=x=
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[User Picture]From: jena
2002-06-05 07:03 am (UTC)

Dave (as I assume your name is Dave)-
I don't know if you are a religious person at all, I was much more so in high school when my life was a bit more tumultuous but still am a fairly devout "liberal" Catholic, but I just want you to know that your/Caroline's friend is in my prayers, that he can find the stability and presence of mind that he needs. I hope I don't sound like a holy-roller, I just feel for this person, as being the young twenty-something that I am, I know many people who have been like he is or are currently struggling through, and I wish for the best for him.
That's all from this side of the pond. :)

-Jena
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[User Picture]From: rockshox
2002-06-05 09:14 am (UTC)

I know who you mean, its a shame, ive tried to be there for him but hes now pushing me away, we all hope he doesnt do anything silly.

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[User Picture]From: novemberbug
2002-06-05 10:16 am (UTC)
I really hope he turns it around, but you know yourself that it's something that only that person in the situation can do; only he can see where he's going wrong and get himself back on track. You never learn entirely by other people's experience, but it can give you some guidance.

I'll tell you my story. I was a nasty piece of work when I was 17. I was sarcastic and nasty to everyone, family and friends alike. It took one person to give me a big shock, but I didn't wholly accept her words at the time and it was only later that I really accepted what she said, although I had begun to break down the nasty exterior at the time she told me off. The thing is that now she's come back into my life, I can't bring myself to trust her, because I'm afraid she's gonna do it again, even though I've done my level best to change. Oh well.

Sending *good vibes* to your friend, and *hugs* to you and Caroline as always :-)
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[User Picture]From: lothie
2002-06-05 02:22 pm (UTC)
Best wishes and prayers to your friend...
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[User Picture]From: webdesire
2002-06-07 02:04 pm (UTC)

I have only just come across this thread so don’t think I was avoiding it when I obviously wasn’t.

I do find it somewhat harsh the way you have portrayed me in your comments here, to someone who might not know me at all after reading that, I dread to think the image they have built up from what you have said, some smack head who mugs old ladies to get their next fix perhaps?..

Granted, I shall be the first to admit this year has not been my year at all, with my placement falling through I was gutted beyond words and not feeling ready to return to university yet, I’ve been basically drifting but most importantly having fun in the process within my limits.

I say within my limits I mean with money that is available to me, I have not turned to crime to feed my clubbing habits, and money I have rightfully earnt with jobs I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy!, I have spent wisely believe it or not.

On the drugs issue, I’m not going to beable to reason with any of you at all because it’s clear that I am the bad boy and that is that.

The fact is, it’s the way club culture is, people take drugs!
If you were to have asked me 9 months or so ago, are you in control Shaun? I’d probably in all honesty say no I’m not! But now, I feel that I have calmed down a hell of a lot and you certainly learn through experiences on how to take whatever you are taking to a sensible level (as sensible as taking drugs gets!)

You can get on your high horse and preach to me and thousands of other clubbers that take drugs when they go out how bad they are, but I know what’s what and that’s from first hand experience rather than reading it up on a website!

My attitude, Id like you to elaborate on that please, I’m not quite clear on what you mean?? How have I been treating my friends, I have certainly noticed some of them have drifted away, some of which I get the occasional acknowledgement through a MSN chat lasting no more than 30 characters if I’m lucky!. How have I been treating my parents?, from all the way down there in Berkshire, I’m intrigued to how you seem to know what’s going on around me more than I do

I think we need to clarify here my use of drugs, yes it is wrong but aren’t a lot of things in life and It’s certainly not something big nor clever and don’t make them out to be as so! But when I do them, it is for recreational use, I am not a junkie, far from it, I have learnt that you should respect drugs, and in return they respect you back! I know the safety issues surrounding them; do you think I honestly want to put myself in danger? I think you need to read up on drugs use and educate yourself a little

Yes I have a lot to look forward to in life, but right not much at all, sad as it is but it’s bloody well true, clubbing being the biggest passion of mine is something which brings me out of my shell, are you saying I should give all that up?

I am currently looking for a job to tie me over the summer months and I shall get one! I’ve been shafted too many times over this past year by people and companies alike, and in the past it has gotten me down to a point where I was asking myself what is the point? But now, I am determined and I have joined a few agencies and even applied online today for 2 jobs in the local area.

It’s not like I have been sat on my bum allay, well not quite all the time, recently I went for a couple of jobs, I was unsuccessful, then I did some work for a friend and was pleased that he gave me such a massive responsibility, something which at least can go down as having done something productive this year, not to mention the web project I did late last year, its all work and documented in my CV,

I do find it quite hurtful that you or anyone else couldn’t feel the need to confront me on your concerns in private; it’s nice to know I am approachable n all
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