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The Love Bug

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Grief... [Mar. 23rd, 2003|03:54 pm]
The Love Bug
[Current Mood |relaxedrelaxed]
[Current Music |Lighthouse Family - Heavenly]

I was debating whether to make this friends only or not, but I decided not to.

Went to church this morning, and Hazel (our minister) was there. We had a special communion service in memory of Peter Richardson, Jeff Tong and a young lad called Adam Scott, all members of our church who died in the last week.

I started to crack during the prayers and the communion, and I think it was noticed, because Roger and Gloria came and sat with me and Caroline and put their arms around us. I just lost it.

On Wednesday night, Hazel said that it could take a while for shock to give way and allow us to grieve properly. She was right. I feel much better having let my emotion out, having kept it back for over 4 days.

Whilst I didn't really want to cry in public, I'm glad I did it at St Andrews and not anywhere else.

From: thereseq
2003-03-23 08:26 am (UTC)
It's so sad when young people die.

I hope you're all doing okay.

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From: heartwork
2003-03-23 08:32 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: novemberbug
2003-03-23 08:41 am (UTC)
Dave, believe me, people understand. I stood by James' grave back on my birthday and sobbed loudly into his aunt's shoulder, and very few of them knew who I was at the time. I was definitely not the only person who sobbed uncontrollably that day because everyone felt the same and everyone accepted the public outbursts because they all knew what a beautiful and wonderful person James was.

You have the right to grieve in whatever way you need, because you knew Jeff so well. Don't hold it back.

Oh bugger, now I'm starting!

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[User Picture]From: chicaboo25
2003-03-23 08:52 am (UTC)
awww *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: stainsteelrat
2003-03-23 09:18 am (UTC)
I'm glad you feel a little better. Time is the only healer for these things.
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[User Picture]From: webgirluk
2003-03-23 09:22 am (UTC)
I am really sorry Dave :( My thoughts are with you.
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[User Picture]From: hyzenflay
2003-03-23 09:58 am (UTC)
my thoughts have been with you, and are with you still. take care.
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[User Picture]From: jeweleee
2003-03-23 10:45 am (UTC)
It might sounds silly but I'm glad you did this, and let it all out, I think it was just what you needed, Dave. It's best to let it all out.

Take care. :-)
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From: alleycat_uk
2003-03-23 10:45 am (UTC)

There's nothing wrong with crying and it sounds like you was amongst good friends at the time. I was really sorry to read about what happened to Jeff, but even more sad to read that two other members of the same church died in the same week! My thoughts are prayers are with all their families and yourselves too of course. What type of church is yours?
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[User Picture]From: avalon
2003-03-23 11:09 am (UTC)
"Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep" (Romans 12:15). Crying is the best thing you can do right now. It's going to help heal your pain, just as a cast would help to heal a broken bone. Those around you in church were weeping with you, and no one thought it a bad thing for you to cry. Remember that Jesus, himself, cried when you start to feel nervous about crying, yourself. It's amazing the peace that God can send you at times like this.

And know that you will be comforted: Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." (Matthew 5:4). God is not going to abandon you now and leave you to endure this pain alone, for it is written: "For I shall never leave you, nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

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[User Picture]From: alfabettezoupe
2003-03-25 03:18 pm (UTC)
grief is a very strange thing and you never know when or how it will hit. after my sister died, i had days where i was fine and the next day it was all i could do to get out of bed.

things will get better, though the memory of your loved one won't fade. sometimes it helps to remember that they're not really gone. they're just out of sight for a while and when it's time you will see them again. they're not in any pain and though they miss you too, they're not unhappy. they know you love them and they love you too.

i will keep you and caroline and jeff in my prayers. and if you ever need a shoulder to lean on, i have two.

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