“Errr Good morning everybody... it's errr nearly 8 o'clock on Wednesday morning.
Ermmmm it's a bit of a rant post really ermmm as you can probably tell I'm on my way to work on the Motorway ermmm and I want to have a rant about specific types of drivers ermmm. I know I kinda rant about drivers a lot errrr but I thought this was something specific so I thought I'd mention it. This is ermm the "lane surfer", the person who will go from lane-to-lane in order to jump in front of everybody else so that they can get to their destination first. What that does obviously in the process is slow everybody else down behind them. I've just seen a very very good example of that kind of person. Ermmm I don't know whether anybody from the UK is familiar with the M4 at Slough, errrm but basically Junction 6... actually the junction is irrelevant, ignore that, it's the same on any motorway. What this person's done is they've overtaken ermmm from the middle lane to the outside lane and cut directly from the outside lane across 3 lanes of traffic to get off the motorway at Junction 6. It's such a dangerous practice that I don't believe in doing it. Ermmm I'm one of these awful people that will get in the lane probably about a mile and a half before they need it, in the majority of cases, I do these things at last minute sometimes. Ermmm but for example if I want to turn right at a roundabout half a mile down the road I'll get in the right-hand lane as early as I can so I don't have to have the problem of cutting across other people later on. But this bloke just now absolute pillock.
Ermmm what else can I have a rant about on this lovely fine rainy crappy morning. Ermmmm I suppose one of the other classic ones is errr the ermmm the traffic that stops for no apparent reason. Just coming past Maidenhead about a mile and a half, well sorry about 4 miles ago, and the traffic just stopped. No warning, no reason, it just slowed down to a stop. Then all of a sudden we're off again at 70 miles an hour with no evidence of what slowed us down in the first place. I just don't understand how traffic works. Just probably another example of somebody trying to get somewhere else first, somebody braking in order to avoid them, and caused the traffic bunching oh errr I dunno.
Oh well, I've had me moan, oh it's still almost 8 o'clock ermmm ignore this post really it's a bit of crap, so... me itching my head on a Wednesday morning. OK fine, that's it, later on, byaaah!”
Re. lane surfers. I guess in some cases these are people who suddenly spot the lane they need and have to get to it. I know I've done it. Of course there will be those who are just in a hurry to get there and "bugger everybody else". Selfish twats I think they're called, who then tend to sit on the hatching with their indicator flashing trying to push in.
Re. traffic bunching. The way I see it some incident causes the traffic to slow, incident clears, traffic moves away again (perhaps based on the example you cite). Obviously in some cases there won't be the "evidence" left behind e.g. mangled bits of car, depending on what incident causes it. This in turn frustrates the driver as they are left "helpless" and uninformed.
May I suggest Yoga? Or moving closer to work? ;-)
PS. It could be worse. In Sao Paulo traffic you have to contend with about 10 times as many trucks and busses, complicated by 10 times as many motorbikes weaving between cars, and traffic (and pollution) that is horrific, topped off with zero traffic laws (or zero respect for them) ;-)
Here in Orlando we have the same thing... Drivers cutting across four lanes of traffic to get to the exit ramp only to realize that they have no idea where they're going and realize that the exit for Disney World is not the exit for Universal Studios and then they cut back across four lanes and repeat this process for the next five exits! :)
"ignore this post really it's a bit of crap, so... Best post I've read/heard all day... It sure beats the "I'm going on a diet so this boy will like me" or "I've lost 30 pounds, why am I still single" rambling posts that have filled up my friends list (and from 30 year olds at that!) :)