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The Love Bug

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Back at home now. [Aug. 10th, 2001|11:35 pm]
The Love Bug
[Current Mood |scaredscared]
[Current Music |The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode]

Mum and Avis made the decision to leave the hospital and get some sleep... well, try to at least. We're gonna go back in tomorrow morning, if Mum and Avis want us to, and spend some time there.

It's a weird situation where there is literally nothing that can be done. We're effectively waiting for Grandma to go. I know that sounds callous, but it's not meant to be.

The really scary thing about all of this, is that I was watching Mum at work this Tuesday, and I suddenly realised that she's not immortal... and that in time.... well, you know what I'm saying - and I have to say that it scared the hell out of me. :-( The following day, all this happened, and I got an inkling of what Mum is going through now - that scared me too.

I'm starting to not make sense, so I'm going to stop now.
I'll update again tomorrow.

I love you, Mum.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: stephaniewalker
2001-08-10 03:41 pm (UTC)
You're not being callous. You're simply being realistic. There is nothing you can do. We all have a time on this earth, and we all get to a point where we have to move on. We all go, yet no matter how much we know that this will happen, it doesn't get any easier.

*hugs*

As I said, take care of yourself in all this.

Steph
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[User Picture]From: novemberbug
2001-08-10 03:53 pm (UTC)
I have been where you are now.

Tomorrow marks one year since my Granny was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She died on November the 1st, and she very slowly deteriorated over that 3 months. The last 5 days were the absolute worst - we knew she was gonna die soon and she was slowly easing herself away from the world - her interest in anything but her family was lessening. On the day that she died, she knew that "I'm going today" even though our GP made a home visit to her and said her heart was still strong. I had got up and had been in to say good morning to her, then I went off to the bathroom to have a shower. When I came back 20 minutes later I was shocked at how quickly she had gone downhill and it was obvious to me at that point she was going to die that day. The sitting around, just being with her is something you have now discovered for yourself, knowing the inevitable is coming but unable to know when. Sitting by the bed and holding her hand, the tears don't stop. I felt it was a peaceful release for Granny when it came, and we really truly felt that my Granddad was there and she went with him when she died.

My thoughts are with you at this difficult and painful time.
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[User Picture]From: brainlag
2001-08-10 08:07 pm (UTC)
I know what it's like, and it's not fun :( It broke me when I was a kid and it was the only time I've ever seen my mom cry :(

It hurt to see it all go by, my only condolence being the knowledge that she was no longer suffering. I still like to think of her sitting in her chair smiling and being wonderful, only this time upstairs...
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